Grey (flash9891) wrote in ruukina,

Trust The Computer! The Computer is Your Friend!

Welcome, gentlemen, and allow me to announce my first ever attempt at GMing an RPG...

...And the subsequent delaying of such. PARANOIA XP is, unfortunately, a very detailed and complex game that disallows its players from creating a character until they get clearance to create a character, the clearance of which can only be bestowed upon them once they have become players with characters. As such, and because I have read the GMing rules as well as the player character rules, I will be willing to give the book to other players interested in playing PARANOIA with me as the GM. You must have ONLY the rules for the player characters read. If you are seen with any kind of knowledge of other rules outside what the players are supposed to know, you WILL be penalized. This is the will of the Ultraviolet! (or is it ultraviolent...)

There are no quickstart rules for Paranoia, and there are no known piracymodeactivate PDFs of the game's rulebooks available to be readily used. Worry not, for The Computer is indeed Your Friend.

You will all be given pregenerated characters. You are encouraged to roleplay these characters. Once you don't not read the rules, you won't not understand what I don't not mean. Happiness is Mandatory. You will find this considerably easier to fulfill due to the excellently-engineered technology that The Computer has bestowed upon us. You will also be allowed as many Happiness-Helping Assisted Living Tablets And Sprays as possible. You are encouraged to take this quantity of drugs and abuse them to your liking; it will make you much Happier.

The primary reason for my delay is not due to laziness: I really wanna GM this game. But I feel I'm not up to the task of explaining the rules to you all in a quick-start form, so by the authority I possess as an Ultraviolet citizen, I am instead opting to allow you Infared-clearance players special promotion to clearance RED to allow you to read the player rules. This promotion will last as long as you choose to play Paranoia with me, with demotion and brainscrubbing for all who wish to return to the terribly bad living quality of the Infared and stop being Troubleshooters in loyal service to The Computer.

I feel the transition from other (non-fun) RPG systems to PARANOIA has the potential to be a difficult process, even for a temporary campaign, but as an Ultraviolet-clearance citizen I am allowed to say such things. You are not. Therefore, it will also be Mandatory for the transition to Paranoia to be absolutely delightful! As such, you will all have fun playing Paranoia, because frowning is considered insubordination, and can be punished with Fines and the prospect of an accusation of Treason.

Enjoy your apple.
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